Why Emotional Intelligence is Crucial for Great Leadership, Now More Than Ever.
Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, has become more and more important as a skill for leaders in business to motivate, grow, build and drive teams to excellence. In the world of Covid-19 and the Black Lives Matter movement, it has never been more important. My prediction is that businesses which have prioritised technical skills and IQ over EQ and empathy, and the ‘mechanising’ of people and processes over understanding the behaviour of individuals are going to find this harder, and over the long-term are those who will struggle to retain talent, motivate teams, and adapt to this new world. Managers who are not trained or equipped for challenging times and difficult conversations, who are not ready to lead (versus manage) are going to be the ones that fall apart. Businesses with leadership, not just management, will be those that thrive.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (also known as EQ or EI) is a term most people are used to but it’s actually pretty new, having only been coined in 1990[1]. It’s defined as “the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. Key components include empathy, self-awareness, emotional regulation and social skills. So, do you understand how you’re feeling and why, can you understand the same in others, and can you harness that to get the best out of yourself and others.
Why EQ is essential for leadership (now, more than ever).
EQ makes you a better leader because you’re better able to understand your feelings and those of others. You can direct your emotions effectively, give people the opportunity to be honest, and understand what might be affecting how they feel. There’s no shortage of data:
Most of the abilities required for superior leadership performance relate to emotional intelligence and it matters twice as much as any technical expertise or intelligence[2].
Empathy is ranked as the number one leadership skill, and leaders who master empathy perform higher in coaching, engaging others, and decision-making[3].
Working with colleagues who aren’t self-aware can cut a team’s success in half and lead to increased stress and decreased motivation. Yet while the majority of people think they’re self-aware, only 10-15% actually are[4].
Whether that’s listening to and empathising with someone who is in lockdown, home-schooling their kids and trying to hold down a full-time job; or receiving feedback from a black employee on their experiences within your business, high levels of EQ are going to make the difference. Demonstrating genuine calm, resilience, and patience in times of stress will have a positive impact on your team AND on their work. Not only is it good for people, it’s good for business.
How to practice better emotional intelligence
There are five core aspects of EQ and different ways to apply each of them:
Self-awareness. This is all about how capable you are of recognising your own emotions, particularly heavier emotions like anger. When you have a reaction to a situation, someone with high EQ can think about what this reaction is really about. What’s behind the initial response? It’s often likely to be our baser emotions – things like fear or jealousy. During the current climate, spend some time thinking about how you’re feeling. You can’t understand how other people feel if you don’t understand yourself. Tip: Start getting curious about your feelings.
Self-regulation or emotional control. Once you’ve discovered the art of recognising your emotions, this is all about how you manage them. How well do you recover from unknown or unsettling situations? Can you manage stress effectively? Do you externalise your internal upsets or can you process them? Do you have a swift reaction to situations you don’t like? This is about how you best manage stress but also how you remain calm, as well as how well you understand the impact of your reactions on others. Tip: Take some time. Wait before responding, if you’re feeling the onset of a physical reaction to stress, pause. Wait 20 mins. Breathe. Then address it.
Self-motivation. This is akin to resilience – it’s our ability to continue to move forward even when there are obstacles in the way. How well are you continuing to work in the wake of your new working environment post-Covid? Are you faced with a significant overhaul of your business in the wake of Black Lives Matter? Are you prepared to keep moving through that, regardless of how uncomfortable you might be feeling? Tip: Bring awareness to the moments when you’d rather put your head in the sand, and make a plan for what you need in order to keep moving forward.
Empathy: How well do you understand the feelings of others? Bear in mind you can’t hope to understand someone else’s feelings if you don’t understand your own first, and that this can take some practice if you’re new to it. The first part of empathy is recognising and understanding your inherent biases and openly seeking different perspectives. It’s about demonstrating compassion towards others and understanding what might be going on beneath the surface. It’s also about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and not just assuming everyone has the same feelings or reactions you do – your Covid experience might be easier because of your living situation, but how might that experience be for someone else? You might not have witnessed racism at work because you’re white. How might it be for someone else? This is crucial for understanding that there are different experiences and all are valid. Tip: Try replacing any initial judgement with curiosity, and ask “Is my experience or opinion the only possible one here? How can I find out more about what’s really happening with this person and how we got here?”
Handling relationships: Are you good at social situations? Do you resolve conflict well? Do you show grace when dealing with others? Do you listen more than you talk? Do you talk over people? Do you insist that something can’t be true because you have no personal experience of it? Do you acknowledge difficult conversations, or do you avoid them? I can tell you now that if you haven’t had a difficult conversation with your team because you’d rather avoid it, you are failing as a manager. If you haven’t listened to your team without judgement you are failing as a leader. Tip: Start listening. Not hearing sounds and waiting for your chance to talk, but really listening without judgement. If you assume people are being honest with you about their experiences and feelings, how would this change the way you approach leadership?
No matter what a leader’s strategy or vision may be, it can only be achieved through the combined efforts of everyone involved – never by the leader alone. The leader needs to communicate, inspire, listen, dialogue, motivate. And all those require emotional intelligence. (Daniel Goleman, 2012)
[1] Emotional Intelligence was coined by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey, and was popularised by psychologist Daniel Goleman.
[2] Daniel Goleman found that 67% of the abilities required for superior leadership performance relate to emotional intelligence. Source: Working with Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, 2009.
[3] According to research by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich, 95 percent of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10 to 15 percent actually are. Working with colleagues who aren’t self-aware can cut a team’s success in half and, according to Eurich’s research, lead to increased stress and decreased motivation. Source: Self-Awareness (HBR Emotional Intelligence Series), Tasha Eurich, 2018.
[4] Global leadership development firm DDI ranks empathy as the number one leadership skill, reporting that leaders who master empathy perform more than 40 percent higher in coaching, engaging others, and decision-making.