How Childhood Experiences Can Create Our Limiting Beliefs

This week I want to share something which comes up for my clients quite regularly, and that's the impact of unresolved childhood traumas on our thoughts, beliefs and behaviours as adults.

Firstly, know that when I say "trauma", I'm talking about anything which causes us to experience the "fight or flight" response. This might be something big that we typically think of when we say trauma, but it could also be a humiliation, playground bullying, divorcing parents, and many more.

To illustrate, I'm going to tell you a (made-up) story so you can see how these seemingly small moments in childhood can impact us into adulthood.

Sarah is 8 years old - she's always been quite confident and outgoing, and she's been cast as the lead in her school's Christmas nativity play. On the big night, she fluffs some of her lines, which causes the audience to laugh. Sarah is mortified and spends the rest of the play feeling stressed about it happening again. Her parents and teachers tell her it's not a big deal. At this point, Sarah's sub-conscious has learned a lesson that it might not be safe to be seen in public, in case people laugh. The next time Sarah has to speak in front of people, while presenting to her class, she's nervous and worried about getting it wrong. She reads her script closely, her body is full of tension, and she doesn't enjoy the experience. Her subconscious is now pretty sure it's right - it's not safe to be seen.

Cut to Sarah at university - this pattern has been continuing over time, and now Sarah has to walk into a room of strangers on her first day and make friends. Her subconscious whispers to her relentlessly that it's not safe, she'll be laughed at, she'll get it wrong, she needs to hide. Sarah isn't relaxed, feels awkward, shy and anxious, and sure enough, isn't herself and continuously worries about whether she's been able to make friends.

Cut to today - although Sarah is successful she suffers from low confidence and impostor syndrome, she hates speaking in public and although she can seem sociable on the surface, underneath she's constantly worried what people think of her, that they might laugh at her.

This is a very simple story based on something that might seem insignificant as an adult, but these kind of moments in childhood can really shape us.

When we experience these traumas, they cause a build up of tension and energy in our bodies - if we don't release that energy, it gets stuck, and it can then turn into what might seem like an unrelated issue as an adult (a phobia, an addiction, anxiety, low confidence, limiting beliefs). Often with these smaller traumas, we look back on them through the lens of an adult - we understand behaviour and context so much more, so we can often think they're not a big deal. However, the energy that's stuck in our bodies is from us as a child - our subconscious holds onto the perspective and context we had when we were younger. In order to really heal ourselves, we need to heal that young part of us that learned a lifelong lesson about what it means to not be safe.

If you are feeling low in confidence, anxious, stressed or uncertain, there might be a moment or moments from childhood that's still keeping you stuck - get in touch to find out how I can help you clear this out and help you move on quickly and effectively with EFT.

Book your free 30-minute discovery call now.