As a woman, have you ever found yourself apologising for asking for something that you are 100% owed? Or undermining yourself with phrases like ‘I’m no expert…’ and ‘I may be wrong…’? If not, then let me buy you a drink. Because research has shown that this ‘out-of-power’ language is enormously common for women. And it needs to stop.

How many times have you heard a friend tell you that they were ‘suffering from impostor syndrome’? How many times have you said those words yourself? I’ll hasten a guess: a hell of a lot.

The truth is, it’s a phrase that gets bandied about a lot. It’s used constantly in motivational speeches as something we can manage, it’s used as excuses for women not succeeding at work, but the truth is that we’re actually being told a bunch of lies about it.

As this year of turmoil, uncertainty and (for some of us) trauma comes to a close, we now have the opportunity to reflect and start thinking about what we'd like to be different. What we want to let go of, what we want to shift, what we want to attract.

2020 just isn't getting any better is it?! We're now on the tailwind to the end of the year and back in lockdown so it's only natural for us all to be feeling overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, uncertain, unbalanced, and any other kind of icky discomfort that makes it hard for us to keep a clear head.

One thing that is incredibly helpful in these situations is tapping, or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which is a powerful energy therapy I have in my coaching arsenal.

This week I want to share something which comes up for my clients quite regularly, and that's the impact of unresolved childhood traumas on our thoughts, beliefs and behaviours as adults.

Firstly, know that when I say "trauma", I'm talking about anything which causes us to experience the "fight or flight" response. This might be something big that we typically think of when we say trauma, but it could also be a humiliation, playground bullying, divorcing parents, and many more.

To illustrate, I'm going to tell you a (made-up) story so you can see how these seemingly small moments in childhood can impact us into adulthood.

Keeping motivated can be hard if you’re not prepared. In time of difficulty it can be even harder. Instead of working towards your goal it can be tempting to ignore it in favour of curling up and eating crisps. I’m all for crisps, but if you’ve got a goal that you’re working towards at the moment and you’re struggling to keep focused, I’ve got a few tips to keep you on track.

Part two of my new habits for 2020 is all about what to start doing to help you feel like your best self in 2020. As with habits to stop, they do take mindfulness and practice in order to become ingrained and see some shifts. Bringing consciousness to starting each one of these each time they come up to start seeing some changes in how you feel.

It’s now officially the start of a new decade. Social media, news outlets, and pretty much every magazine on the shelf are now awash with ‘NEW YEAR NEW YOU!’ messaging at every turn. I’m also officially over the concept – anyone who is telling you that you need a new (read: better) version of yourself because the new year has begun is trying to sell us something. And that something is usually reliant on feeding our insecurities.