The lies we’re told about impostor syndrome.
How many times have you heard a friend tell you that they were ‘suffering from impostor syndrome’? How many times have you said those words yourself? I’ll hasten a guess: a hell of a lot.
The truth is, it’s a phrase that gets bandied about a lot. It’s used constantly in motivational speeches as something we can manage, it’s used as excuses for women not succeeding at work, but the truth is that we’re actually being told a bunch of lies about it.
As women, impostor syndrome can start from a young age. And as we grow and step into our careers, it only gets worse. We often believe that we aren't good enough and, crucially, that we don’t belong. It holds us back.
But, is this impostor syndrome or is it the shape of society telling us that we don’t belong?
What is impostor syndrome?
The concept of impostor syndrome was developed by psychologists Pauline Rose Clane and Suzanne Imes in 1978. Originally termed ‘impostor phenomenon’, they found that ‘despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.’
These feelings are often confused with issues like low confidence and self-doubt. Chances are you’ve probably been told before ‘just have more confidence in yourself!’ And if it WAS just a case of self-doubt, then the ‘impostor phenomenon’ could be easily fixed with training, experience and feedback. But, with the big IS, those things don’t help. You constantly believe that you’re actually faking it, and that sooner or later you’ll be caught out.
This can trigger stress, fear, anxiety and performance issues, as well as having a huge affect on our relationships. It isn’t related to confidence or competence; in fact, it’s the opposite. In her 2019 research report, Clare Josa said:
‘Impostor Syndrome isn’t just self-doubt in a spiky suit. It’s the gap between who you see yourself as being and who you think you need to be, to succeed and lead.’
(It’s worth noting that this study was only carried out on white, middle-class women - there was no room for the added implications of ethnicity, sexuality, socioeconomic status and other genders. When, of course, these biases impact impostor syndrome enormously. And they need to be considered.)
How does impostor syndrome manifest?
When we consider impostor syndrome in the context of the workplace, you’ll typically find that it leads to:
An inability to speak up in meetings
Turn downing opportunities
Not putting yourself up for a promotion
Not taking (or getting) credit
Feeling anxious and overwhelmed
A VERY loud, VERY annoying inner critic that tells us that we’re going to get busted any day now for having tricked everyone around us into thinking we’re any good.
Sound familiar?
But here’s the thing. We can only stop impostor syndrome if we accept that it is, in a nutshell, a load of bullsh*t.
What are these lies about impostor syndrome about then?
Hear me out. I think we’ve been sold a bunch of bullsh*t about impostor syndrome, and in the act of selling us that bullsh*t, women have ended up internalising it and treating it as truth. When in fact, well, it’s bullsh*t. Here are some of the lies we get sold:
1. It only affects women
We are far more likely to hear impostor syndrome being described as something which affects women than men. This is in large part because the original research by Clane and Imes back in 1978 was only carried out on women, so for years we all spoke about it as a women’s issue. The truth is, it affects men too. Clare Josa found that the split is actually pretty equal overall however impostor syndrome is more likely to increase in women as we progress through our careers, whereas it decreases for men.
2. It’s an incurable syndrome
The word syndrome sounds so medical, doesn’t it? Calling this a syndrome makes it sound like something incurable, that we get diagnosed with and then we’re stuck with but that’s not the case. It’s not an incurable disease, it’s our programming. And what can be programmed can be deprogrammed.
3. It’s the same as low confidence
Because it’s a phrase that gets bandied about a lot, we can often end up using it as a bit of a catch-all. The truth is, it’s not the same as having low confidence, or lacking self-belief. Low confidence usually means you don’t have the trust in yourself to complete a task, to succeed at what you’re trying to do, to be visible. Low confidence comes from things like lack of experience, lack of positive reinforcement, or feeling like you’ll do it wrong. Impostor syndrome operates at a much deeper level than low confidence because it is intrinsically tied up in our desire to belong. It’s that point where we feel like we have to be someone different to do the job we’re doing, we’re going to be found out and we’ll be excluded.
4. We need to manage it ourselves
The biggest lie of all.
When we talk about imposter syndrome, we frame it as a ‘problem’ that someone ‘suffers’ with and therefore needs to ‘fix’. This puts the ownership on the person. It totally disregards the environment that they are in and the experiences and programming that may have led to them feeling this way.
The reality is that this isn’t the ‘sufferers’ fault. It happens because we feel like we don’t belong and that the space we are navigating was never intended for us.
Humans are innately tribal, and we have a deep-seated desire (even in modern times) to ‘belong’ to our tribe. The reason that imposter syndrome is therefore so powerful is because it’s connected to an incredibly deep level of this feeling. We have a primal fear that we’ll be thrown out of our tribe; not least because it would be unsafe, but because of the intense shame that would come with it. It can also stem from childhood experiences like bullying. For many, this is their first experience of being cast out of a tribe, and the feeling of shame and exclusion can drift into our adulthood; we’ll do anything to avoid it.
When we don’t see people who look like us, it automatically tells us that we don’t have a guaranteed place in that tribe. We have to work harder; and if we don’t see anyone like us ‘at the top’ then you may subconsciously tell yourself that it isn’t for you.
A huge chunk of this comes back to internalised biases. For example, what it means to be a person of colour. What it means to be a woman in technology. What it means to be a young woman on a board of fifty-plus middle-aged white men. These different groups (and there are SO many more) have a pre-written story attached; it’s a story that says they are the odd one out, they don’t really belong, and they could be kicked out at any moment.
So, what has led us to feel this way? Why do countless powerful, influential individuals believe that they need to ‘fix’ their imposter syndrome?
Let’s consider for a moment that ‘we’ are not the issue - that this is not an issue we have to solve. Instead, it’s that the world isn’t built for people who don’t fit the mould. And that - especially for women - we are taught that to own our power is a bad thing.
Who else is exhausted by this narrative?
Impostor syndrome and the gender (im)balance.
For women, (what we believe to be) impostor syndrome can stop us going for opportunities entirely.
This isn’t a huge surprise when you consider the female leadership gap. Women make up only 6% of CEOs and 32% of Directors of FTSE 100 companies, and there are nearly twice as many men in senior positions like managers and directors. And you’ve probably heard the statistic that men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.
The fact is that men have had a lifetime of society telling them they are the dominant gender. That they are strong and deserving. It’s an image that they feel they have to live up to, whereas women have spent their lives forever on the back foot. If the world has already fed us the story that we are inadequate in comparison to men and that we always have to work that little bit harder, then is it really any shock that we’re going to give into that teeny tiny impostor demon?
And yes, the research shows that men also experience impostor syndrome. There’s no denying it. But, there’s also no ignoring the fact that it is easier for men to feel seen and included; especially for white men. They are continuously surrounded by men who look like them and will experience a higher level of confirmation for their skills.
Fundamentally, we’re all racing against different standards. These standards come in different shapes and sizes. If you grew up on a council estate and only made it to University on the back of endless loans, you may feel like the black sheep in a house full of rich, parent-funded students. This feeling of not ‘being as good as everyone else’ could then slip into your career. Perhaps you may feel like you constantly need to prove yourself. And so the loop goes on; vicious and debilitating.
This inner programming (layered up with a patriarchal society) leads to us believing the impostor syndrome rhetoric. And if your work environment isn’t geared up to tell you otherwise, it’s always going to come creeping back.
RELATED: WOMEN IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY | WHAT IS THE IMPACT ON OUR ABILITY TO PERFORM AT WORK?
Impostor syndrome and women of colour.
I couldn’t write this article without talking about the added pressure of impostor syndrome for women of colour.
In her poignant piece for Cosmopolitan, Yasmina Floyer wrote:
‘For women of colour like myself, a pervasive feeling that you are an impostor is not necessarily something that comes just from within - self-doubt and low self-esteem. It stems from deeper societal issues; external factors like racial bias and systemic oppression, which are not always acknowledged.’
She shared her experience of going for her first job interview after graduating from the best University for her subject in the country. On making the final two, she was told by a rejected candidate that they were clearly ‘ticking a box’ and looking for a ‘token hire’. This disgraceful notion is something that women of colour have to address regularly. Here, they have a far deeper load of assumptions that they have to prove themselves against: that they are worthy of the hire, and they are not just a tick box exercise. Not because it is true, but because they have centuries worth of racial injustice stacked against them.
We need to remember that impostor thinking can impact women from ethnically diverse backgrounds in very different ways to those of white heritage. It is abundantly clear that this strengthens the argument that impostor syndrome is not our burden to carry: it is one that has been forced upon us by unjust bias, patriarchy and tired prejudice.
How can businesses be better?
Businesses need to better understand and fight against the barriers that stop their employees feeling like they don’t belong. This means creating environments and leadership styles that accommodate people of all backgrounds. The benefit won’t be felt by the individual alone; it will positively impact the entire company. By having more women in senior positions, we can rectify the gender imbalance problem and encourage better performance as a by-product of stronger equality. Everyone wins.
Let’s be real: countless businesses still reek with the aftershave of the ‘good old white boys’. Bias is rife and a lack of diversity at the top can put a real pin in underrepresented groups and their ability to flourish. That’s why the key to ‘solving’ impostor syndrome has nothing to do with the individual; it’s all about the space they find themselves in.
Businesses should start by removing the onus on women fixing themselves, and instead share the responsibility. This isn’t a problem for us to tackle - it’s one that society (and the businesses within it) needs to get to grips with.
Secondly, you can embed specific training and workshops into your employee programme. This training could be focused around reprogramming bias and previously held beliefs. You can use it to foster a more open, accepting and inclusive workforce.
We also need to encourage a broad spectrum of leadership styles: ones that value all different working styles and not just the ones that are masculine, cut-throat and (excuse me while I vomit) ballsy. Only then can we hope that racial, gender, sexual and ethnic identities be seen on a level playing field.
As such, we can all take great joy in giving impostor syndrome the middle finger.
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Do you have a team that needs help with this? Do you want to create a more inclusive and nurturing workforce? Get in touch to book a free discovery call. I would love to chat.
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash