Women in a patriarchal society | What is the impact on our ability to perform at work?
Facts are facts: without women, our world would not exist. Our role - our power - is enormous. And yet we still find ourselves bound by a patriarchal society; one that doesn’t just impact us, but also weaves its threads through male conditioning.
What is a woman’s role in a patriarchal society? A woman’s role in a patriarchal society is to be seen and not heard; to duly maintain the position as ‘stay-at-home’ mother and bear the load of childcare, household chores and everything that comes with it.
Sure, the number of women in the workplace and in senior positions is growing - but it isn’t enough. We’ve still got a long way to go; and hell of a lot of that change has to come from within.
But we’re fighting a lifetime of stereotypes and inner programming. It isn’t an easy job… Yet it’s one that can (and will!) pave the way for a more fulfilling, joyful and equal way of life.
What does patriarchy actually mean?
First thing's first: what actually IS patriarchy?
Contrary to what many people think, patriarchy doesn’t just refer to men in power. It goes far deeper than that. Patriarchy is a familial and social system whereby the father is the head of the family; basically, the top dog. The word literally means ‘the rule of the father’ and describes a lineage where the father has total control over the women and children of the family, with this power being passed down through his male heirs.
But what of the women, I hear you ask? Their role was simple: bear the children, and if they can, make that child a boy. That way, there’s another lad to pass the position of dominance and authority over to when the time comes. Once the little’un shows up, the woman would stay at home to care for the children and keep the home perfectly cared for.
Sound familiar?
The history of patriarchy - it’s a long, long, LONG story.
Patriarchy has existed for so long, it would be easy to assume that things have always been this way. Perhaps it is nature - it’s how things are meant to be, right?
Wrong. Patriarchy is a social system which came into our lives around 10,000 years ago in response to the rise of agriculture, as described in Agricultural Societies, the Rise of the State, and Patriarchy.
“The patriarchal systems that emerged brought women for the first time under the direct control of fathers and husbands with few cross-cutting sources of support. Women as wives under this system were not social adults, and women’s lives were defined in terms of being a wife. Women’s mothering and women’s sexuality came to be seen as requiring protection by fathers and husbands. Protecting unmarried women’s virginity appears to go along with the idea of the domestication of women .”
Despite this pretty outdated viewpoint, we’re still dealing with the repercussions of this shift in society. In fact, it’s ingrained itself so heavily into our culture that we’re not only grappling against the layers of what’s expected from us as women domestically, but we’re also fighting a never ending battle in the workplace. Workplaces still reflect that cookie-cutter family structure: the men are given the positions of power (and lord knows you’d best hire a flip load more to uphold that power) and women remain void of a seat at the table… Of course, unless it’s in a “feminine” role. It’s a textbook mirror from business to society and back again.
How does patriarchy show up in the boardroom?
The very men who brought about the concept of patriarchy 10,000 years ago have created a relentless loop teaching the men after them, and the men after them, and the…. Well, you get the idea. It’s led us to a workplace drowning in misogyny. This isn’t an opinion: it’s a reality.
The gender pay gap was 15.5% in 2020
Globally, women hold just 24% of senior leadership roles
Mothers are more likely than fathers to be spending an extra 20 hours per week on housework and childcare, increasing the pressure on them and leading to the symptoms of burnout
In the UK, statutory paternity leave is just two weeks, paid at the minimum statutory rate
1 in 4 women are now considering leaving the workforce due to the burnout they experienced during the covid-19 pandemic
Women working in finance are being held back by mediocre men, who are often retained because they are seen as the breadwinners
It is undeniable that women are handed the short straw in the workplace. When you think about it, it’s no surprise. Men have learnt over generations that they are ‘the boss’. It’s a narrative that has been prevalent for centuries; it isn’t something that will ever disappear overnight. However, women have only been told that they too have a place at the table since 1903, when the Women's Social and Political Union was founded by Emmeline Pankhurst and her daughters Christabel and Sylvia. They were on a mission to give women the right to vote; the union soon became known as (you guessed it) the Suffragette Movement.
Let’s face it: that isn’t all that long a time to be told that you are worthy. Not only is the mindset considerably less embedded into us than our male counterparts, but we’re also pushing through thousands of years worth of the male superiority complex. This can’t help but materialise in the boardroom.
Because men are still seen as leaders, they dominate the workplace. And this impacts all genders in different ways.
We see ‘masculine’ as positive and ‘feminine’ as negative. Masculine is strong - it’s cut throat, emotionless and reliable. Feminine on the other hand is weak. Emotional… Too sensitive. Unable to assert control.
And so female voices remain unheard and epic talent unpromoted. Simultaneously, a man climbs the corporate ladder, is encouraged to shed all aspects of his humanity and is allowed to thrive in spite of being, well, mediocre at best.
Who wins… Really?!
What is patriarchal motherhood (and how does it affect our ability to work)?
You can’t talk about patriarchy without digging into motherhood.
Historically established norms shine a light on the mother as the primary caregiver; she should be of a certain age, married and happy to stay at home teaching the ‘ABC’ and making freshly baked bread ready for when hubby walks through the door. Although society is slowly but surely starting to recognise that this is not the only route into motherhood, the expectation that the woman should be mother hen still remains.
And this is hard - really, really hard. So why don’t we talk about it?
It is incredible to see more women thriving in the workplace. The problem is, many of those women are carrying the brunt of everything else, too. Childcare, housework, social calendars… The list goes on. Yet they can’t mention it; afterall, the first rule of the patriarchal motherhood club is you don’t talk about the patriarchal motherhood club. To admit they were struggling would be a sign of weakness, and further reinforcement that women simply can’t cut the mustard in a male oriented world.
I call bullsh*t on this. If a woman is working, balancing a home life and nurturing a child, then they should be given the space to ask for support when they need it. Whether this means more flexible hours, home working or - you know - the opportunity to actually express a feeling without being called ‘too emotional’, it needs to happen. And the woman herself needs to feel comfortable and confident enough to do so.
Let’s not forget the mental health load that mothers have to navigate. In its most extreme cases, postnatal depression ranges between 9 - 21%. Women are also more likely to experience burnout than men and 100-150 per 1000 mothers will have a mild-moderate depressive illness or heightened anxiety following birth. Something as straightforward as improving ‘back to work’ systems so that women feel welcome, rather than pressured, could make them feel more supported and ready to step back into the workplace.
It would be wrong to claim that this unspoken belief that mothers shouldn’t share their struggles sits at the hands of a male dominated workplace. A recent article by the BBC described Kate Dyson, Founder of The Motherload, facing a tirade of online abuse after opening up to the Mumsnet community about her postnatal depression. She was told that she was ‘ungrateful and didn’t deserve to have children’.
Mothers in need are facing this from their ‘own kind’ - all because of what we’ve been taught about the role of a woman and a mother. Taboos still prevent them from talking about the often traumatic topics of childbirth and motherhood. The idea of bringing it up in a workplace environment? Keep it to yourself, love.
It’s one of the greatest tricks in the ‘Patriarchy for Dummies’ handbook; get women to maintain this unjust system by judging one another the second we step outside of the prescribed box of ‘what it means to be a woman’. This is an enormous battle, but thanks to women like Kate we’re slowly but surely getting there.
Patriarchy and social division: an even bigger battle.
It isn’t just mothers who have to deal with the impact of patriarchy in the workplace - it’s all women. Most predominantly, it’s those from minority groups and backgrounds.
Ethnicity, sexuality and class are all additional factors that make it harder for a woman to establish her place and - as a result - perform at work. Whether through an unconscious bias or downright racism and sexism, women from minority groups have an even bigger mountain to climb.
One in eight BME women are in insecure jobs compared to one in eighteen white men
Three out of five BME women in self-employment are low paid compared to two out of five white men
One in eight BME women are under-employed compared to one in thirteen white men
LGBTQ+ women are underrepresented at every stage of the management pipeline
More than half of LGBTQ+ women report having experienced sexual harassment over the course of their career, 1.4 times more than straight women and 1.9 times more than LGBTQ+ men
Why is it that despite the huge focus on workplace diversity in recent years, we are still reading these same old obscene statistics?!
We also need to look at the type of work these women are being given: office housework VS glamour work. Office housework is the *stuff* that needs to be done - you know the type, the admin that keeps the cogs turning. It sits outside of the spotlight, and it isn’t going to win you any awards. Glamour work is the opposite. It’s glitzy. It gets you seen and promoted. It’s the sh*t hot work that everyone wants a piece of.
Research by Harvard Business Review found major disparities between men and women (particularly women of colour) when it comes to office housework VS glamour work. They found that female engineers of colour were 35% less likely than white men to report having equal access to desirable assignments; white women were 20% less likely. For lawyers, the findings were similar: women of colour were almost 30% less likely than white men to say they had equal opportunity to high-quality assignments, and white women were 18% less likely.
How can we deprogramme these outdated and limiting beliefs?
Clearly, there is a shed load that needs to be done from a leadership level to smash the patriarchy out of the workplace. And I for one will keep shouting about that until my throat is red raw and my mouth is as dry as a camel’s toe.
We know that there is no quick fix to make this a reality. So, until then, we need to take our destiny into our own hands. This comes down to adjusting our mindsets and questioning the cookie-cutter frameworks we’ve stumbled into. From reconnecting with the confidence that we lost and liberating ourselves from the shackles that have kept us playing it small.
Sure, we may be fighting against centuries of stereotypes and conditioning - but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a stand.
I believe that there is a fire inside each and every one of us: a fire that is desperate to shine bright. If we can access this heat - this power - then we can start carving out a path that runs regardless of anyone else’s limiting beliefs.